Y-Do these things happen?

Ugh!  So here we are in mid-June and I haven't posted anything since FEBRUARY!  Blah.  Needless to say the last three months have been rough.  First, (March) at work I was put on something called a PDP, now this stands for Professional Development Plan and is usually not a good thing.  The last time I was on a PDP I left that district.  This was for an entirely different reason but it still freaked me out.  That was the start of my downward spiral.  Then, in April, SPRING BREAK!!  Which was awesome and I loved it.  I thought things would get better after that and they did for a bit.  Then I found out I was being transfered to another school :(  I LOVE the school I am at now.  I said when I started it would be the last school I ever taught at.  I guess the universe is calling my bluff and moving me somewhere else.  I still have a contract, I still have a job, I'm with the same county but I was very upset for a few days and truthfully I'm still upset just handeling it better now.  So there goes another spiral.  Finally, May, in May I was convinced I was pregnant.  Had all the symptoms, nasua, headaches, burping, bloated, late.  But, no baby just stress, there is a surprise!  Because I thougth I was pregnant I didn't go to Curves, I didn't go to Curves through most of this actually, and so continued my spiral of no exercise and feeling sorry for myself thus eating whatever I want to put a bandaid on it.

So, where has my 3 month spiral left me?  Feeling lousy and weighing in at 222 again.  I was down to 214 dang it!  I really need to learn how to handle stress better!  Food is my comfort and when the going gets tough I turn to food.  Then, I feel worse, especially now that I've been on this journey for almost a year, because I'm gaining weight and losing self esteem.

I have however been able to pull myself out of my slump and last night went back to Curves.  That is what I love so much about Curves.  I was gone for 3 months and yet last night was welcomed back with open arms not with judgement.  It was great to work out again and it makes me wonder why I ever stopped going.  Working out really does make me feel better physically and emotionally.
Even though I started to spiral out of control I think I've stopped myself before I fell too far and now I'm ready to take what I've gained over the past year and put it toward new growth and continued success.

X-tra special day!

Well, it is almost Valentines day and to celebrate my husband and I went out on a wonderful date last night to Olive Garden <3  It was X-tra special because I was able to fit into a particular red dress that I have not been able to wear in literally years.  I first got the dress back in 2004 when Bobby was about to deploy to Iraq and I wore it on a date when I went to see him in Hawaii.

This dress holds a very special meaning to me and I have kept it all these years hoping one day I would be able to wear it again.  For the longest time it stayed in my hope chest as I hoped one day I would be able to fit into it again.  After I got to my heaviest of 260lbs. that hope faded and faded.  I even had the dress hanging on my wall in my bedroom for motivation to no avail.  It would be about another year before I would get serious.  Then I started this journey and hope was rekindled.  I finally worked up the courage to try it on again in September of last year.

And then I tried it on again in January

Neither time did I feel confidant enough to wear the dress out in public. In fact, in September I felt kinda like a stuffed sausage!  Then, finally, last night! Eeeeee!!

Well on my way!

So, here I am a little over a year after I started this wonderful weight loss journey and while not to my goal yet I am well on my way!  I have lost close to, if not, 40 pounds :)  Eeeeee!  That is such a major accomplishment for me.  Now, the trick it so keep that momentum and NOT gain all that weight back but continue to lose and finally get healthy!  I think that I have truly made a lifestyle change here.  I don't feel deprived, I don't feel like I am on a diet, I simply feel like I am finally, truly, learning how to eat!  I find it amazing how much more I enjoy food now. There are just so many good things out there that I was not eating because I was too busy eating all the crap!  I had forgotten how much I like to cook and actually ENJOY my food.

Victory! (Well a small one)

So, here I find myself 12 months from when I started my journey and 6 months from when I really got serious about it and I have a small victory.  Now, even a small victory is a victory and I am SO excited to be able to share this:

My first picture from June of 2011

And this is from November of 2011!

And this is from January 2012!  Now, those are NOT the black pants I have on in the previous pictures but it is a pair I was wearing to work back in June and November!  They are a size 26 and that is right I fit into ONE leg!

And here is a pair of shorts I was wearing this past summer (June, July, August 2011)!  OMG!

I currently weigh 224 which means I have lost 36 pounds!

Unmotivated

Ever feel like you just don't want to do anything?  That is kind of the way I have felt the last couple of months.  I guess it is because of the holidays but I have been very unmotivated.  However, I have managed to maintain my weight at around 230, sometimes as high as 234 but I think that was water weight.  Now that the new year has rolled around I am optimistic for 2012 but still find it hard to get motivated.  Today is Wednesday and I have only been to work out once this week, on Monday, and it will be difficult for me to get in the other 2 I am suppose to have this week.
I started the Curves Complete "diet" to try and shake things up a bit but this first week is proving kinda difficult though I think it has more to do with $ than anything else.  I'm hoping that next week will get better and I will get over this plateau I have been sitting on for the past couple of months.
New Year (again), same life, same (but better) ME! :)

Track: I'm back on it!

Ok, so it has been a WHILE since I posted.  I will admit I fell off the wagon a bit from Nov. to Jan. but I am back on it now!  And, I didn't gain THAT much over the Holidays which makes me very happy.  I think that over the break I only gained one pound total :).  Normally I would have gained like 10 pounds and lost all hope and gouged on all food I could find and be right back up to 260 in no time!  BUT, I am still hanging though at around 230, maybe less (PMS), and only 34 pounds for my first goal of 194.  This post makes it official, I am back on track and I WILL finish the ABC's of weight loss and I WILL reach my goal.  Hopefully will reach 194 THIS YEAR.  Wouldn't it be awesome?  You know it would.
As part of my "back on track" plan I am starting the Curves Complete "diet" on Monday.  I say "diet" because it is really more like a meal plan, I will be cooking my own food and be able to get food at the grocery store.  I think it will be good if only for discovering new foods and new ways too cook it.  The plan gives you EVERYTHING you need, meal plan, recipes, and even a shopping list!  Supposedly you can lose 20 pounds in 90 days.  I will settle for 12 but we will see.....  I will defiantly keep everyone posted!