There is no second change to make a first impression. That statement is so very true and unfortunately you have no choice in what that impression is. I have not done a scientific study, I have not posted a poll on Facebook but I have been trolling the interwebs and here are some of the first impressions people get of overweight individuals: they are undisciplined, lazy, they smell bad, they eat all the time, sympathy, disgust, they are weak, they are spineless, they are greedy, hatred, they sweat a lot...
To know that this is how some, not all, people think of overweight individuals, like me, really gets to me and makes me a little depressed actually. First impressions and judgement go hand in hand. We all make snap judgements and I know that loosing weight will not stop people from judging me any more than it will stop me from judging others, yeah, I know you're shocked right? I just don't want people to judge me the way they do now. I want to change some of that judgement. Many of the impressions people have, that I found on line, are really misconceptions... and some of them are not, at least for me. I am lazy, I am undisciplined, I can be greedy, and at times I eat all the time. In addition at times I am emotionally weak and I turn to food. However, I don't smell bad (unless I don't shower and anyone would smell unless they shower) I'm not spineless, and I don't sweat any more than any other normal human being (stay tuned for a future post on that topic).
Now disgust, yeah I feel disgust. I am disgusted with myself. I don't like the way I look or the way I feel. I am disgusted by how I act and how I am showing my kids to eat and treat food. At least I am still here and, other than the being overweight, I am healthy. I am capable of, and am, changing my life for the better!
OK, I'm writing this without a rough draft here so bear with me :) Originally I was going to do another "D" post talking about Denial but then I thought Distractions would be better and tie Denial to the previous post of Defeat.
Distractions are something I have to deal with every day. When I say distractions I'm talking about anything that takes my focus off my ultimate goal of healthy living. Over the past week I have had to handle several distractions. The first distraction I faced was that of being out of town and away from my normal Curves location. Curves gives travel passes so I was able to go to another Curves while I was out of town, luckily. The biggest hurdle with that was that it was NEW. New people, new lay out, etc... and it was a change and I HATE change, most of you know enough about me to know that first hand! However, I went 4 times last week just like I am suppose too :) Last Friday I had another distraction when my Aunt June took me, my son, and my grandmother to Burger King for lunch. I caved, totally and got a Whopper with Medium fries and Coke. Now, a good part about this is that I got a Medium and not a KING size and I went afterward and worked out. Really Friday-Sat was a rough time and I went over my calorie count at myfitnespal.com both days. Sunday I was back on track though and I went swimming which was a great combo of family time and exercise! :) Today, another distraction when I decided to go to Zumba at Curves. It was difficult because it was only the 2nd Zumba class I have gone to at Curves and I was easily distracted by the other ladies and how bad I thought I was doing. When I stopped focusing on everyone else and just focused on what I was doing though it was much better! Imagine that!
I face distractions every day when I leave my house or watch TV or even get on line because I am constantly bombarded with images of food. Either it is Fast Food or Food Network, which I love to watch but it never fails to make me hungry!, or some sort of food commercial etc... and this is where I have to practice discipline. Look another D! I have to have enough discipline to not go to my kitchen and get a snack. I have to have enough discipline to get off my couch and go to the gym. Discipline can help me overcome all my distractions.
It is so easy to feel defeated when I try to loose weight. When I think about the many times I have tried and failed to loose weight I feel defeated and depressed. It turns into a nasty cycle of defeat. Here is usually how it works: I get lazy and forget to workout or eat fast food or eat too many calories--- I feel guilty so I eat more--due to more eating I gain weight---eat more because of guilt---gain more weight---give up working out and trying to loose weight all together. And on and on until I just balloon back up to my original weight, or higher. This has been the cycle for the past 10 years, or more since High School.
Today I have to realize that there will be bumps in the road and I will mess up every once in a while. However, messing up doesn't have to mean giving up. I can only be defeated if I allow myself to be. Tomorrow is always a chance to change, a chance to do better. Heck, the next minute is a chance to change and do better. So, even though I may have a bump in my road to weight loss I will not be defeated this time. I've already gotten over one bump in the road, the period of time when I fell off blogging for a few months. That could easily have been the latest defeat and I could have stopped trying then because I felt so guilty about not keeping up with the blog. But, I didn't allow that to happen. I got right back on and started right back up again with the blogging.
