A small victory is still a victory

I'm going to start posting weekly victories.  Even a small victory is still a victory and they keep us focused on our goals.  They remind us that we got this!  This week's victories include:
Down 4 pounds from my starting weight! :)
The couch to 5k run is getting easier.  I can jog the entire length of my driveway ~1/4 mile without stopping.  When I started I couldn't even run the 1:00 without stopping, huffing and puffing.  You have to stay postitive and these little victories help.

Running Buddies

Recently I've started doing the Couch to 5K program again.

We've been doing run #1 for about a week now :-P so it may take longer than 9 weeks for me to get there.  I want to be able to do run 1 without getting winded before I go any further.  Progress is being made though, today I didn't use the app I just went for a walk/run.  My driveway is a quarter mile long and I did 4 intervals of up and down the driveway.  I would walk up to the road and then run back to my truck.  It felt really good!  I've had several running buddies over the past few days.  My husband and children went with me for several days but today my older child was at grandma's and the baby was sleeping so hubby stayed with him.  Today I was down to my critter running buddies, our cats, kittens, and my dachsund.  They are great running buddies and I am so excited to be getting into this habit!

When life happens

Well, it has been FOREVER since I posted anything here.  What can I say?  Life got in the way.  The last time I posted was in February 2013 and that was during the time I was trying to get pregnant again.  It took a while to get pregnant and through all of it I stopped focusing on my weight loss and was instead focusing on getting pregnant.  I know that the two could and should really go hand in hand but they didn't.  Each month I didn't get pregnant I got more depressed.  We tried for 3 YEARS before I finally got pregnant again.  I worked out some while I was pregnant and then I stopped, pregnancy, work, money, all came down on me and I totally stopped focusing on my weight and my health.  I still ate relatively healthy for the baby but I wasn't active and I don't lose weight when I'm not active.  I became totally focused on my baby and lost track of me.  Well, baby is now over a year old :) life has settled down some, I finally fell secure in pretty much every possible way.  There is no better time to pick up my weightloss journey again.  So, I went back to Curves, back on Curves complete though my Curves no longer has the Curves Smart :( but I still have access to the recipes and of course I can still work out on all the machines.  I started the weekly meal plan on Monday so this is day 5 and so far so good!  I'm back on www.myfitnesspal.com and I'm also working on Couch to 5K.  Later today I'm going to the local YMCA to see about a membership there as well so I have somewhere to go on Sat. and Sun. when Curves is closed.  Plus, they have a pool :)  I know what to do, now I just have to do it and stay on the path!  Last time I did this I lost almost 50 pounds in 8 months so my goal is to do that again, by Feb. of 2017 I'll have lost 50 pounds or more.  Here we go!

265 - June 2016

Ignore Negativity

OMG!  So, yeah, you see that number on the right, the one in RED?  That number sucks!  Like, majorly SUCKS!!  That number is suppose to be green and usually I like to have a triple digit green number.  Well, NOT today!
I have found that one of the hardest things to do on this journey is to ignore all the negativity I come up against.  And, it is not just in weight loss but in EVERY aspect of my life (you like how I'm doing some words all CAPS?  I know you DO!)  It is so easy for me to get caught in that negative thinking.  The thinking that says "Awe, screw it!  Today was bad and tomorrow will be too.  Why not just give up and quit?  It is SO much easier!!"  or, not related to weight loss, "You got a not so perfect eval. that last time.  Why not just give up doing what you love and quit, go find something else to do?"
Every time I have this inner voice I have to fight it and I have to focus on the positive side of things.  Yes, today was bad, I made the wrong choices.  However, giving up and quitting?  That would be the WORST choice I could possibly make.  All I can do is move forward from now and make tomorrow awesome!  The same thing goes for the non weight related things too.  All I can do is move forward from today and make tomorrow awesome!  It has taken a lot to get me where I can say that and not wollow, too long, in self pitty and loathing.
So, let's dust off the past, move on from right now, and make tomorrow, or the next hour, or whatever, AWESOME!!

Help!

Sometimes we all need help.  I know it is very difficult to lose weight without a support system.  Even with a support system it is difficult if you are surrounded by people who have no clue what it is like to be overweight and try to lose it.

Here are some of my favorite things for support:

My Fitness Pal Communities and friends 
(BTW, Myfitnesspal.com is also a GREAT site to track calories!)

Facebook Groups and Pages:

Healthy Weight Loss & Dieting Tips

Fit for Change

Fat Girls Journey to Healthy Divahood

The Biggest Loser (also a rocking TV show on NBC)

Hungry Girl  (also a great TV show on FoodNetwork)

BelieveFit

Zumba Fitness

F.L.A.W.L.E.S.S

Curves of Pooler  I work out here :D (I also admin the page!)


I use all of these to help me stay motivated and moving toward my goal.  With so many pages on fitness my newfeed is FLOODED with healthy lifestyle tips, tricks, and examples!

Gaining while I Lose

Special K has a program known as the Gains Project and thier tag line for that project is "What will you gain when you lose?"  They've been running an ad campaign too that asks the same question.  My favoriate one is the one with the scales and rather than showing a number they show words like Joy, Confidence, Sass, etc...  I tried to find a YouTube clip of said commercial but nothing was cooperating :(

I know, some people may be like "Wait, didn't you just say no to fad diets?  Special K promises dropping 6 pounds in 2 weeks!  Hello, Fad Diet!"  Well, you are right and wrong there.  The Special K Challenge does say that, and yes I think the Special K Challenge is a fad diet and thus will not be participating in said challenge.  However, there are other aspects to Special K such as the Gains Project and they do have lots of yummy "diet" food like Protein Granola Bars (in my pantry), Special K Cracker Chips (SO yummy and I'm out right now dang it!), Special K Pastry Crisps (yummy snack one day last week), and others that I have never tried like Special K Brownie Bites, Cereal Bars, Shakes, and Water Mixes.


Anyway, back to the topic.  Gaining while I Lose:  There are SO many things I have gained while I've been on my journey and I'm not even half way done yet!  So far I have gained strength, courage, confidence, the ability to sit with my knees pulled up to my chest while still being able to breath!  I look forward to so many more gains as I continue to lose all this unnessary weight!  :-D  Now, what will you gain?

Fad Diets

Don't Work!

Welcome to Amercia where we want what we want and we want it NOW!  We want to have our Large Double Quarter Pounder with Cheese Meal and our bikini body too!!  And thus, we have fad diets.  The problem with fad diets is that they are FADS which, by definition, don't last long.  Most of the time once the diet is over individuals gain back all the weight they lost and sometimes more.  Now, we've probably all fallen victium to fad diets at one time or another, 17 Day Diet, Low Fat, Low Carb, Atkins, South Beach, Special K etc...  Part of the reason we like Fad diets is that they offer quick results, which is awesome!, however, the results don't last, which sucks :(  Usually "diets" in general don't work long term because most of them have you eat speical food, limit certian foods, or eliminate certian foods.  When the diet is over and you go back to eating "nomally" again all the weight comes back again.  I have found, for me, the best way to lose weight and keep it away is to completely change the way I think about food, nutrition, and diets.  I have had to have a COMPLETE lifestyle change not go on a diet for a week, a month, or a year.  Lifestyle is the key to weightloss not diets.

Enormity

Sometimes the sheer enormity of how much I have to lose is hard for me to handle.  I know it is not as much as some but it is still about 100 pounds!  I started at 260 and needed to lose almost 130 pounds, half myself!, to be at the "ideal" weight.
In order to deal with this enormity I have broken my goal down in smaller, more manageable bits.  My first goal is 194 which I hope to make this year and then I'll move on to between 150-130 :-)
I really believe the breaking down the goal makes it more managable and I get less discouraged.  I don't have to lose 100 pounds, I only need to lose 36 and I've already lost almost 30 so that is not that bad right?  I will be SO happy when I have lost more than I need to lose.

Dragging!

Man, these last few days I have definatly been dragging.  I don't know why I've been so tired lately but dang!  Lucklie I've been making myself go work out and that has made me feel better.  However, I can't go work out until the afternoon so I'm sleepy ALL DAY!  I've even tried gonig to bed earlier.  Here's hoping with this new Curves Complete diet (which I've been on for 4 days now) and added exercise ( 4 days instead of 3) will help add some energy :)

Curves Complete

If you happen to check out the Get Moving section of my blog you may notice I recently talked about Curves Complete.  In case you haven't checked that section out (yet) I am SUPER excited about it!  Basically Curves Complete provides diet, exercise, and motivation for a perfect triangle of weight loss goodness!  You have to be a member to get ALL the goodies but here is an overview of the program.  
Last year I did a one week trial and was really bummed out when it ended and I was no longer able access the website and forums :(  I am really excited that I get to do it for real now and, once you finish the program, you still have access to the website!  Awesome :)
If you are a lady, and you are intersted in getting fit, then I STRONGLY suggest you find a Curves near you!

Biggest Loser

I LOVE the show Biggest Loser!  It is one of my great motivators :)  Last year I was the most active in weight loss when the show was airing.  I can't wait for 9pm TONIGHT on NBC!

Biggest Loser FB Page 

Season 14 Preview:

Biggest Loser on NBC

At it again!

UGH!  I REALLY slacked off in 2012 which is probably why I'm not at my goal weight yet.  I'm not even at an intermitiant goal weight yet!!  Well, it is January 6th and here we go again.  I have been BAD lately and have been totally off the weight loss wagon for 5 months.  And when I say off the wagon I mean OFF THE WAGON!  I have not tracked my food, exercised, or blogged for 5 MONTHS!  Talk about a break.  Although I have been bad for the last few months I have only gained about 10 pounds which makes me VERY happy and VERY unhappy all at the same time.  

This is a picture of me at my
heaviest and then about 8 months
 after I started getting serious!
 See...I CAN do this!

And, here I am currently at 232
after gaining 10 pound
over my 5 month hiatus from all this goodness

With the new year I've recommitted to my weight-loss journey and am looking forward to a great year.  I'm doing some new stuff this year to help me accomplish my goal of REACHING FIRST GOAL WEIGHT BY DEC.  My first goal is to lose 18 pounds by June of this year.  Once I do that I'll be down to 212 and only have about 18 more pounds to my first goal weight of 194.  My final goal weight is about 134 and I hope to reach that sometime in early 2014.  I would be much closer to that and even within reach this year had I not slacked off for 5 months.  It is time to let the past go however and dive head first back into getting healthy.

Y-Do these things happen?

Ugh!  So here we are in mid-June and I haven't posted anything since FEBRUARY!  Blah.  Needless to say the last three months have been rough.  First, (March) at work I was put on something called a PDP, now this stands for Professional Development Plan and is usually not a good thing.  The last time I was on a PDP I left that district.  This was for an entirely different reason but it still freaked me out.  That was the start of my downward spiral.  Then, in April, SPRING BREAK!!  Which was awesome and I loved it.  I thought things would get better after that and they did for a bit.  Then I found out I was being transfered to another school :(  I LOVE the school I am at now.  I said when I started it would be the last school I ever taught at.  I guess the universe is calling my bluff and moving me somewhere else.  I still have a contract, I still have a job, I'm with the same county but I was very upset for a few days and truthfully I'm still upset just handeling it better now.  So there goes another spiral.  Finally, May, in May I was convinced I was pregnant.  Had all the symptoms, nasua, headaches, burping, bloated, late.  But, no baby just stress, there is a surprise!  Because I thougth I was pregnant I didn't go to Curves, I didn't go to Curves through most of this actually, and so continued my spiral of no exercise and feeling sorry for myself thus eating whatever I want to put a bandaid on it.

So, where has my 3 month spiral left me?  Feeling lousy and weighing in at 222 again.  I was down to 214 dang it!  I really need to learn how to handle stress better!  Food is my comfort and when the going gets tough I turn to food.  Then, I feel worse, especially now that I've been on this journey for almost a year, because I'm gaining weight and losing self esteem.

I have however been able to pull myself out of my slump and last night went back to Curves.  That is what I love so much about Curves.  I was gone for 3 months and yet last night was welcomed back with open arms not with judgement.  It was great to work out again and it makes me wonder why I ever stopped going.  Working out really does make me feel better physically and emotionally.
Even though I started to spiral out of control I think I've stopped myself before I fell too far and now I'm ready to take what I've gained over the past year and put it toward new growth and continued success.

X-tra special day!

Well, it is almost Valentines day and to celebrate my husband and I went out on a wonderful date last night to Olive Garden <3  It was X-tra special because I was able to fit into a particular red dress that I have not been able to wear in literally years.  I first got the dress back in 2004 when Bobby was about to deploy to Iraq and I wore it on a date when I went to see him in Hawaii.

This dress holds a very special meaning to me and I have kept it all these years hoping one day I would be able to wear it again.  For the longest time it stayed in my hope chest as I hoped one day I would be able to fit into it again.  After I got to my heaviest of 260lbs. that hope faded and faded.  I even had the dress hanging on my wall in my bedroom for motivation to no avail.  It would be about another year before I would get serious.  Then I started this journey and hope was rekindled.  I finally worked up the courage to try it on again in September of last year.

And then I tried it on again in January

Neither time did I feel confidant enough to wear the dress out in public. In fact, in September I felt kinda like a stuffed sausage!  Then, finally, last night! Eeeeee!!

Well on my way!

So, here I am a little over a year after I started this wonderful weight loss journey and while not to my goal yet I am well on my way!  I have lost close to, if not, 40 pounds :)  Eeeeee!  That is such a major accomplishment for me.  Now, the trick it so keep that momentum and NOT gain all that weight back but continue to lose and finally get healthy!  I think that I have truly made a lifestyle change here.  I don't feel deprived, I don't feel like I am on a diet, I simply feel like I am finally, truly, learning how to eat!  I find it amazing how much more I enjoy food now. There are just so many good things out there that I was not eating because I was too busy eating all the crap!  I had forgotten how much I like to cook and actually ENJOY my food.

Victory! (Well a small one)

So, here I find myself 12 months from when I started my journey and 6 months from when I really got serious about it and I have a small victory.  Now, even a small victory is a victory and I am SO excited to be able to share this:

My first picture from June of 2011

And this is from November of 2011!

And this is from January 2012!  Now, those are NOT the black pants I have on in the previous pictures but it is a pair I was wearing to work back in June and November!  They are a size 26 and that is right I fit into ONE leg!

And here is a pair of shorts I was wearing this past summer (June, July, August 2011)!  OMG!

I currently weigh 224 which means I have lost 36 pounds!

Unmotivated

Ever feel like you just don't want to do anything?  That is kind of the way I have felt the last couple of months.  I guess it is because of the holidays but I have been very unmotivated.  However, I have managed to maintain my weight at around 230, sometimes as high as 234 but I think that was water weight.  Now that the new year has rolled around I am optimistic for 2012 but still find it hard to get motivated.  Today is Wednesday and I have only been to work out once this week, on Monday, and it will be difficult for me to get in the other 2 I am suppose to have this week.
I started the Curves Complete "diet" to try and shake things up a bit but this first week is proving kinda difficult though I think it has more to do with $ than anything else.  I'm hoping that next week will get better and I will get over this plateau I have been sitting on for the past couple of months.
New Year (again), same life, same (but better) ME! :)

Track: I'm back on it!

Ok, so it has been a WHILE since I posted.  I will admit I fell off the wagon a bit from Nov. to Jan. but I am back on it now!  And, I didn't gain THAT much over the Holidays which makes me very happy.  I think that over the break I only gained one pound total :).  Normally I would have gained like 10 pounds and lost all hope and gouged on all food I could find and be right back up to 260 in no time!  BUT, I am still hanging though at around 230, maybe less (PMS), and only 34 pounds for my first goal of 194.  This post makes it official, I am back on track and I WILL finish the ABC's of weight loss and I WILL reach my goal.  Hopefully will reach 194 THIS YEAR.  Wouldn't it be awesome?  You know it would.
As part of my "back on track" plan I am starting the Curves Complete "diet" on Monday.  I say "diet" because it is really more like a meal plan, I will be cooking my own food and be able to get food at the grocery store.  I think it will be good if only for discovering new foods and new ways too cook it.  The plan gives you EVERYTHING you need, meal plan, recipes, and even a shopping list!  Supposedly you can lose 20 pounds in 90 days.  I will settle for 12 but we will see.....  I will defiantly keep everyone posted!

Speed Bump

Sometimes, on our journeys we hit speed bumps.  I hit one Friday night.  My son, the 16 year old, kinda disappeared for about an hour.  It was getting dark, he didn't answer his phone, and he didn't call.  He claims he didn't notice it was getting dark.  This is something I can't really believe, how do you NOT notice it is getting DARK outside?  Long story short I don't trust him to watch his brother anymore.  Now, this wouldn't be a huge issue except for the fact that he watched his brother when I went to work out in the afternoon.  This will SEVERELY limit the number of times I can work out a week.  The impact is so great I will only be able to work out once a week, if that :(.  I know from past experience if I don't work out I will fail.  I was really depressed on Friday night. 
Since then I think I may have found a solution. It will cost me some extra money but it will be worth it in the end. I am going to pay the woman who watches Oliver through the week some extra to keep him later 2 nights a week so I can work out :)  Friends are the best!  So, this has been my first speed bump (and here I thought it would be me gaining a pound!)

Rewards

There was a time in my life that I used food as a reward.  Heck, I am from the South, we use food for EVERYTHING!!  Someone had a baby?  Bring a casserole!  Dinner at Church?  Covered dish!  Funeral?  Take some food!!  In order to truly change my life and be healthier I have to change this way of thinking.  I did decide to reward myself for my weight loss but what good would it do me to lose weight and then "reward" myself by eating junk food?  Is that really a reward or sabotage?  So, I decided that for every 15 pounds I lost I would reward myself with new clothes!  I picked 15 pounds because 15 pounds is roughly a dress size.  So far I'm down to a size 18 jeans and I've rewarded myself once, down 26 pounds so far so only 4 more to go and then more new clothes!  I can't wait till I'm the size where I can get one of these and not just under my Civil War gowns :)  
Rewards are very important in this journey but those rewards CANNOT be food.  I have to change the way I view food.  It can be a treat but not a reward.  I can eat things like cake, ice cream, and cinnamon rolls but they are treats (like today on my birthday when I had 3 cinnamon rolls and a caramel roll!) but they are not rewards for anything.


My better health, better life, better looking body are my rewards :)