Enormity

Sometimes the sheer enormity of how much I have to lose is hard for me to handle.  I know it is not as much as some but it is still about 100 pounds!  I started at 260 and needed to lose almost 130 pounds, half myself!, to be at the "ideal" weight.
In order to deal with this enormity I have broken my goal down in smaller, more manageable bits.  My first goal is 194 which I hope to make this year and then I'll move on to between 150-130 :-)
I really believe the breaking down the goal makes it more managable and I get less discouraged.  I don't have to lose 100 pounds, I only need to lose 36 and I've already lost almost 30 so that is not that bad right?  I will be SO happy when I have lost more than I need to lose.

Dragging!

Man, these last few days I have definatly been dragging.  I don't know why I've been so tired lately but dang!  Lucklie I've been making myself go work out and that has made me feel better.  However, I can't go work out until the afternoon so I'm sleepy ALL DAY!  I've even tried gonig to bed earlier.  Here's hoping with this new Curves Complete diet (which I've been on for 4 days now) and added exercise ( 4 days instead of 3) will help add some energy :)

Curves Complete

If you happen to check out the Get Moving section of my blog you may notice I recently talked about Curves Complete.  In case you haven't checked that section out (yet) I am SUPER excited about it!  Basically Curves Complete provides diet, exercise, and motivation for a perfect triangle of weight loss goodness!  You have to be a member to get ALL the goodies but here is an overview of the program.  
Last year I did a one week trial and was really bummed out when it ended and I was no longer able access the website and forums :(  I am really excited that I get to do it for real now and, once you finish the program, you still have access to the website!  Awesome :)
If you are a lady, and you are intersted in getting fit, then I STRONGLY suggest you find a Curves near you!

Biggest Loser

I LOVE the show Biggest Loser!  It is one of my great motivators :)  Last year I was the most active in weight loss when the show was airing.  I can't wait for 9pm TONIGHT on NBC!

Biggest Loser FB Page 

Season 14 Preview:

Biggest Loser on NBC

At it again!

UGH!  I REALLY slacked off in 2012 which is probably why I'm not at my goal weight yet.  I'm not even at an intermitiant goal weight yet!!  Well, it is January 6th and here we go again.  I have been BAD lately and have been totally off the weight loss wagon for 5 months.  And when I say off the wagon I mean OFF THE WAGON!  I have not tracked my food, exercised, or blogged for 5 MONTHS!  Talk about a break.  Although I have been bad for the last few months I have only gained about 10 pounds which makes me VERY happy and VERY unhappy all at the same time.  

This is a picture of me at my
heaviest and then about 8 months
 after I started getting serious!
 See...I CAN do this!

And, here I am currently at 232
after gaining 10 pound
over my 5 month hiatus from all this goodness

With the new year I've recommitted to my weight-loss journey and am looking forward to a great year.  I'm doing some new stuff this year to help me accomplish my goal of REACHING FIRST GOAL WEIGHT BY DEC.  My first goal is to lose 18 pounds by June of this year.  Once I do that I'll be down to 212 and only have about 18 more pounds to my first goal weight of 194.  My final goal weight is about 134 and I hope to reach that sometime in early 2014.  I would be much closer to that and even within reach this year had I not slacked off for 5 months.  It is time to let the past go however and dive head first back into getting healthy.

Y-Do these things happen?

Ugh!  So here we are in mid-June and I haven't posted anything since FEBRUARY!  Blah.  Needless to say the last three months have been rough.  First, (March) at work I was put on something called a PDP, now this stands for Professional Development Plan and is usually not a good thing.  The last time I was on a PDP I left that district.  This was for an entirely different reason but it still freaked me out.  That was the start of my downward spiral.  Then, in April, SPRING BREAK!!  Which was awesome and I loved it.  I thought things would get better after that and they did for a bit.  Then I found out I was being transfered to another school :(  I LOVE the school I am at now.  I said when I started it would be the last school I ever taught at.  I guess the universe is calling my bluff and moving me somewhere else.  I still have a contract, I still have a job, I'm with the same county but I was very upset for a few days and truthfully I'm still upset just handeling it better now.  So there goes another spiral.  Finally, May, in May I was convinced I was pregnant.  Had all the symptoms, nasua, headaches, burping, bloated, late.  But, no baby just stress, there is a surprise!  Because I thougth I was pregnant I didn't go to Curves, I didn't go to Curves through most of this actually, and so continued my spiral of no exercise and feeling sorry for myself thus eating whatever I want to put a bandaid on it.

So, where has my 3 month spiral left me?  Feeling lousy and weighing in at 222 again.  I was down to 214 dang it!  I really need to learn how to handle stress better!  Food is my comfort and when the going gets tough I turn to food.  Then, I feel worse, especially now that I've been on this journey for almost a year, because I'm gaining weight and losing self esteem.

I have however been able to pull myself out of my slump and last night went back to Curves.  That is what I love so much about Curves.  I was gone for 3 months and yet last night was welcomed back with open arms not with judgement.  It was great to work out again and it makes me wonder why I ever stopped going.  Working out really does make me feel better physically and emotionally.
Even though I started to spiral out of control I think I've stopped myself before I fell too far and now I'm ready to take what I've gained over the past year and put it toward new growth and continued success.

X-tra special day!

Well, it is almost Valentines day and to celebrate my husband and I went out on a wonderful date last night to Olive Garden <3  It was X-tra special because I was able to fit into a particular red dress that I have not been able to wear in literally years.  I first got the dress back in 2004 when Bobby was about to deploy to Iraq and I wore it on a date when I went to see him in Hawaii.

This dress holds a very special meaning to me and I have kept it all these years hoping one day I would be able to wear it again.  For the longest time it stayed in my hope chest as I hoped one day I would be able to fit into it again.  After I got to my heaviest of 260lbs. that hope faded and faded.  I even had the dress hanging on my wall in my bedroom for motivation to no avail.  It would be about another year before I would get serious.  Then I started this journey and hope was rekindled.  I finally worked up the courage to try it on again in September of last year.

And then I tried it on again in January

Neither time did I feel confidant enough to wear the dress out in public. In fact, in September I felt kinda like a stuffed sausage!  Then, finally, last night! Eeeeee!!